Monday morning grrr
So my work computer is officially on life support, and I am doing the computer equivalent of the waiting room pacing to see what they can recover. I am so glad I have been emailing myself my dissertation! I will step up such informal backup activities here forward.
I am trying not to thnk too hard about what it means if the diagnosis is bad.
On other fronts, I am feeling really bad. I have this sense of ill-defined dread that I don't know what to do with. It started when I realzed I missed my OB/GYN appointment on Friday--I had thought it was some time this week. It isn't a big deal, but ever since I realized I dropped that ball I have been feeling awfully close to tears (and even slipping over into tears for real last night for no good reason).
I think it also has to do with finishing up stuff on my dissertation. I spent all day yesterday working on the bloody comparative statics question ET wants me to answer, and I think I have everything right and boiled down as far as it will go, but it is still incredibly complicated and meaningless. But I think I have been spending way too much time inside my own head. Even when that means that I am just doing algebraic manipulations for 8 hours straight, it still isn't a good thing.
VS has a new promising relationship and hearing about it makes me realize how untenable my life has gotten in this suspended animation before I leave LA and start living for real again. I wish I were better at ignoring that I am about to leave, but my logical brain just won't shut up...
One problem with this computer is that its key board is stiffer than what I am used to, so I keep missing letters....
I am trying not to thnk too hard about what it means if the diagnosis is bad.
On other fronts, I am feeling really bad. I have this sense of ill-defined dread that I don't know what to do with. It started when I realzed I missed my OB/GYN appointment on Friday--I had thought it was some time this week. It isn't a big deal, but ever since I realized I dropped that ball I have been feeling awfully close to tears (and even slipping over into tears for real last night for no good reason).
I think it also has to do with finishing up stuff on my dissertation. I spent all day yesterday working on the bloody comparative statics question ET wants me to answer, and I think I have everything right and boiled down as far as it will go, but it is still incredibly complicated and meaningless. But I think I have been spending way too much time inside my own head. Even when that means that I am just doing algebraic manipulations for 8 hours straight, it still isn't a good thing.
VS has a new promising relationship and hearing about it makes me realize how untenable my life has gotten in this suspended animation before I leave LA and start living for real again. I wish I were better at ignoring that I am about to leave, but my logical brain just won't shut up...
One problem with this computer is that its key board is stiffer than what I am used to, so I keep missing letters....
posted by Abby at 2:05 PM
2 Comments:
Oh hon, that all sounds so hard. Capella sounded like that before she finished, and now she is all transformed into an Amhearst hippy. So things will get better for you too, I'm sure of it.
Thanks, Megan! You are right, of course, it will get better. It has to! I am making some progress, but man is it painful right now...
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