4:52

I just read a great article by Baruch Lev (2003) on earnings management. I plan to cite it heavily. But right now, I think I am going to check out a book and go home. Enough work for a Saturday.

3:47

Just got a call on my cell phone from Rhode Island. Who the hell do I know from Rhode Island??? Probably a wrong number, but I'm a little freaked out by the combination of John #2's access to lots of different phone numbers and HR's problem with a phone stalker.

I just checked, and all of John #2's numbers were 310 codes, so I am probably okay...

3:19

I should compile my LaTeX code more often and look at the PDF version. It is easy to forget when I am just working on text (I compile and check frequently when I am writing mathematical expressions or drawing pictures). It is such an ego boost to see everything looking so official. And I have written 178 pages so far. That represents a lot of work and thought, and it is good to remind myself of that once and a while. Particularly since the official requirement is that it be at least 100 pages long...

3:04

I'm making progress but am feeling a little ADD. Hence the random post. It is nice to be working in a place with WINDOWS. And other (different) HUMANS. And the prospect of checking out a trashy mystery novel as a reward for my labors...

2:34

Now I'm set up at my local public library. I love it here! We'll see if I get anything done.

I actually had a nice phone conversation with my parents after getting home from the office. It felt good to complain about my life and get sympathy. So often I feel unsatisfied and disgusted with myself when I complain, but today it just felt like letting off some steam.

12:04

Still in the office, though was out on the patio reading. And daydreaming. The sun is nice...

Saturday 10:10

Dragged myself in to the office to pick up my computer so that I can work somewhere where it doesn't feel quite like I'm working...

I'm a total case of nerves today. I don't know quite why.

Oh, and the friggin' trailer for the WTC movie at the movies last night brought back my 9/11 nightmares. I don't understand why they think it has been long enough to have MOVIES about that day.

6:22

And what the hell is going on with my counter? It disappeared, and now it is back but says I have had 49 visitors. I was up in the 60s!

6:19

I think I am fading for the day. The question now is do I go see a movie? Go home? Bring my computer? It is a drag right now not to have a car. I really want to see "The Devil wears Prada".

Much better than a date with John #1...

1:53

Okay, so I am bummed, I admit it. I was looking forward to having a date. Maybe not with John #1 in all his reality, but a generic date. Preferably with some physical connecting involved.

1:21

Oh, but it does mean that I have had second dates with only 3 men in the last year. Shouldn't count chickens...

1:16

Well, John #1 is now off the radar screen too. He's too busy. Don't know whether to believe him or not, but also not sure I really care. I'm too busy, though I do need a distraction from thoughts of TF. And now I don't have one...

(goody, goody)

12:53

I love TP... his work is so rational.

11:17

I do hate it when my counter disappears. Which is a pathetic reflection of something, I'm sure.

Okay, okay, I'll get back to work...

11:10

Also, I sent an email this morning to John #2, saying I didn't want to see him again. What a relief! I had a weird dream last night that I was having to go through all these complicated maneuvers just to avoid talking with him. Yuck.

This is why I hate internet dating! Being either the rejector or the rejectee sucks so much, and both happen constantly. In real life, at least you encounter potential dates much less often, so the psychological stress level is much lower.

Friday 11:07

Feeling optimistic today. I wish I could talk with EK every day. I am always more motivated after my conversations with her, even though I am often quite upset by them.

JR can't be my reader, which is a bummer, though he did recommend someone else, who looks like he could be good. I am just now reading their paper together on FSI and it makes me feel all over again that my research is worthwhile.

I just hope I can keep it all together for a productive day, not hour or two.

7:59

I admit defeat. I will not finish the chapter tonight. Maybe not even tomorrow. But soon, soon. As long as I maintain sanity and optimism, I can do this efficiently.

I feel good about what I achieved this afternoon, even though it wasn't all I wanted. I see a clear way forward. The rest of this chapter should be easy to write--it is a straight-forward literature review. And I have the literature at hand...

7:15

Just tried to type the word "author" and came out with "audit" instead. The joys of muscle memory...

5:37

I've shown great resolve and work ethic...by spending an hour at the happy hour downstairs...

It is good to talk to other humans occasionally, though.

Dumb quote of the day

Well, I'm going to make my snarky comment, since I have already suffered the consequences...

It seems likely that the true social costs of any particular violation are significantly less than the tens or hundreds of millions of dollars represented by potential class-based damages. Thus, the measure of damages under current law appears significantly higher than that needed to achieve optimal deterrence. This intuition is reinforced by the fact that actual settlements in securities class actions average only about nine percent of market losses. (Alexander, 1996, 1497).

Alexander is in general a pretty smart lady, but this is just dumb reasoning. Right before this quote, she finished telling us that the social costs included things like an undermined integrity of the market. What the hell makes her think that such costs are going to be reflected in settlement negotiations??? Particularly since the law does not include such costs as part of recoverable damages...

Typical

My computer just rebooted itself and I lost a couple of paragraphs. One of the perils of working in LaTeX.

F**k.

And I was just about to post something snarky. The gods are having their revenge on my spiteful thoughts.

2:15

I said I would hold myself accountable for finishing the cost of fraud chapter by the end of today, and I still will. I am doing a sucky job so far in making much progress. But I will do whatever is necessary to turn myself around and get it done. It is too important not to. Here is why:

1. If you don't finish a first draft in July, you won't have fun in Europe in August and you won't be done in time to avoid paying tuition fall quarter.

2. You hate spending your days in a windowless closet. The fewer days you waste, the sooner you'll redevelop a relationship with sunlight.

3. You want to be done.

4. It is depressing to fall behind on deadlines, and only makes you question your self-worth.

5. It is just too silly not to do it.

1:48

The day has taken a nose-dive, productivity-wise. Yuck.

11:55

I just found a trove of legal articles on the net social costs of fraud. Good because it saves me work, bad because it means nothing I'll say on the topic is new. Except I do get to say lawyers, meet macroeconomists, macro guys, meet lawyers. Play nice boys and girls...

Thursday 9:56

I'm feeling strangely focused today. Maybe wallowing in depression yesterday actually helped. I just want to get this over with! It is nice to have articles to review, rather than just making shit up.

Wednesday 10:12

Got turned down by LSE this morning. Bugger. But it was never very real for me, so it isn't like King's saying, "we don't want you, after all."

Committee all seems enthusiastic about the idea of JR as an outside reader. I like it the more I think about it--I won't get any great new insights from him, most likely, but he is a known quantity, sympathetic, and fast. All good things for me right now.

5:10

Pretty good day all in all. A section of the cost of fraud chapter written. Job search re-energized (I know, I know, I was just bitching about it).

Plan: finish fraud chapter by Thursday. I'm going to hold myself accountable...

1:55

Bugger all. This whole job thang is disrupting my concentration! I HATE all the uncertainty and my inability to evaluate opportunities. I don't even know what I want, except to finish this friggin' dissertation as soon as possible.

11:08

Where, oh where has my counter gone???

11:03

Ok, so RL called and the story is a little bit different. It would be paid for by Pfizer to debunk a piece of research by the environmental agency on how the precautionary principle is better than risk analysis.

Sounds a little more Republican, but I do believe in risk analysis...if it is well done. I think the answer is still yes yes yes.

Tuesday 10:18

Came in late because of complicated car dance with the sister and talk with EK. Lo and behold, there was an email and phone message from RL when I got in! It turns out that he has a proposal that he thinks might get funded on greening industry for a European environmental agency and wants to see if I'd be interested in working on it!

yes yes yes yes yes. I am trying to be restrained and prudent and say "perhaps, maybe" but secretly the answer is yes.

4:52

Lame day all around. Never got out, never got to work. Boo.

2:41

Yuck. Still nothing done. (Well, I re-read what I sent off last week, but that barely counts.) I'm thinking about a change of scenery. A bit of a drag, because I'm on the bike today, but maybe I should go for it anyway.

Monday 11:17

Slow start today. And I think I'm going to take a catnap before I even try to get started--I didn't sleep well last night. I also must now figure out what to work on. Yuck. The downside to finishing a project is that I have to figure out what the next one will be...