3:31

FJ came by!!! Yay! So nice to see her. She was with MR who was asking FJ for advice since MR is newly pregnant! So I didn't really get to talk with FJ, since she had to run home to feed BT, but I did get to eavesdrop on a juicy conversation. And I did it while redrawing/debugging a reduced game tree, so I was getting stuff done AND listening.

1:44

I'm STILL raging. Must concentrate and funnel that rage...

Friday 12:25

Got an email from JH that got me into a bit of a tizzy. Not with him directly, but with the state of the world in general. He apparently ran into BR in the hall and BR said that he thought I implied business is "sleazy" (JH's word) in my brownbag talk awhile ago. !!!!

I just hate hate hate how people pussyfoot around CEOs!!! They are human beans just like the rest of us!!! They fart in bed and spill cereal everywhere just like the rest of us. Which means that sometimes (note, only sometimes) they lie, cheat, and steal. JUST LIKE THE REST OF US!!! Indeed, they do it often enough that we require them to get audited every year.

The only difference between the C-suite and the rest of us is that when they lie, cheat, and steal, they do it big time. And they do it really inefficiently. Unlike a guy who holds up a convenience store and walks away with the proceeds, which is a pretty direct transfer and only the "overhead" of police protection and video monitors etc add to the cost (assuming no one gets hurt) , the easiest way for a CEO to steal is to lie about BILLIONS of dollars so that he makes additional MILLIONS of dollars. And that BILLION dollar lie is really really costly on top of the unearned MILLIONS.

But convenience store thiefs who cost us HUNDREDS go to jail really easily for decades. CEOs only occasionally go to jail and often for a very short time, considering that they cost us (yes, that would be you and me) BILLIONS.

It pisses me off, man.

Ready, set, go!

My goal for today is to finish a draft of the theory section and send it to ET. Full charge ahead!

Our internet is very slow today, so that may assist the singleminded focus...

31/2

Dahhhhling, I'm so popular! 31 visitors, 2 of whom felt compelled to look at my profile (scintilating as it is). Who knew the world was listening?!?

;)

Much better

I completed the write-up of the bribing subgame! And explained how I was going to switch over to the 3 scenarios! Maybe ET will even be able to follow my logic (fat chance, that). Now I can definitely feel good about going home.

Then I have to decide whether or not to go out with internet boy #2 tonight. I'm thinking Sunday sounds a lot better from this perspective...

5:04

No. I'm going to push forward a little longer. So there.

5:01

So while I'm still being productive in spirit, today was not a real winner. I might just go home now. Maybe bring my computer...maybe not.

I'm struggling with the language of more formal game theory. I think I am probably making a ridiculous hash of it, but I suppose one has to start somewhere. It is very exciting to have propositions and proofs--it makes me feel all grownup--but I think they are mostly B.S.

2:30

Snapple count: 4 (yesterday I only had 2 and felt like crap. hmmm, I wonder if I am addicted to caffeine after all).

Did you know?

that a place like Westwood Village (the 15 block commercial area adjacent to UCLA) creates approximately 912,500 vehicle miles traveled per year just in cars cruising for parking spaces? That is equivalent to 36 trips around the earth. Raising the on-street meters approx. $0.50 per hour would lower that distance to close to 0.

Just think of how much that would cut the demand for gasoline....

sometimes I wish I were a traffic engineer...

11:11

As I think about it, if we do go out again, that will mean that I've had second dates with 4 men in the last year! Which for me (sad as it is) is major progress... Not exactly long term relationships, but better than one night stands with men I don't respect.

Thursday 10:41

I got off to a late start today. I blame it on the Sangria last night... I had an internet date. The jury is still out on the long-run (i.e. third date+) prospects, but I got a nice kiss good-night and am reasonably confident of getting a 2nd date to continue the assessment.

I'm also looking forward to the mini-reunion that will accompany graduation this weekend. It will be fun to see all the old boys--I miss their energy. School has gotten progressively more female, which is nice in its own way, but the class of '01 sure was fun to have around...

12:42

Took a break and went to PD's dissertation seminar. She did a great job, and made me envious of a dissertation that crunches nice numbers...

I've made the choices I've made, and there really is no going back now, but gosh darn it! I hope in the long run, my time in the dusty archives will pay off, but it is scary.

Wednesday 9:33

Wow, it's only 9:33 and I'm ready to start work! Shocking.

I'm feeling the anticipatory buzz of a finished dissertation, and what a difference that makes!

Tuesday 12:01

Getting a late start today, but all for good reasons (well, ok, I didn't NEED to read all my blogs, but at least I read them quickly). Talked with EK--feeling MUCH better than I was at that time yesterday. Then I got a call from Stanford about a post-doc there!!! My paranoia about ET is overblown afterall (EK, you were right (I know, I know)).

As per usual, the talk was, "I'm interested in the idea, but not sure what form it would take and I'll have to convince others that it is a good idea." But hey, better than "why are you cluttering my inbox, idiot!"

7:53

Yes, that would be 7:53 in the evening! I am still virtuously at work. It seems that a large chunk of my blockage (pretty picture, that) was related to motivational issues after all.

I copied the model section into a separate document and have started making changes to that. Definitely less scary! Doh!

I even figured out how to fix the bug that was causing my tables to be misnumbered in the text. Yippee!!

Geez, this experience is a rollercoaster ride...

Monday 10:08

Starting the morning struggle to get focused. I got nothing done yesterday at the coffee shop except to read part of ET's game theory article.

I really don't know how to proceed. I wish I had some substantive, supportive help. I'm feeling progressively more lost, and more panicky as time keeps oozing by. I don't think I'm just having motivation troubles. I think I'm also having substantive problems.

And no plan to get out of them...

Weekend

Yesterday was a complete day off. No work, no attempt at work. I think that was a good tactic.

I'm now in a coffee shop near K's house. A nice, cool independent with free internet and good BLTs. I got a lot done at the Abbott's Habit on Friday evening, so maybe I can be similarly focused for an hour or two here. Then a movie with VS as a reward.