Thursday

Off to the UK tomorrow! Must wake up at a god awful early hour (4:00 ish), and it is almost midnight already. The washing machine seems to have broken, so I got to do our last load by hand. Whoopie! Fortunately, the drier is working.

As I said at dinner, the reality of my reality still hasn't hit me.

Wednesday

For those of you who care about good auditing, this is very bad news.

Tuesday

It has been hard to find the breaks, but I think I'm finally starting to realize that I don't have to race everywhere or push so hard anymore. I took a really deep nap this afternoon and hope that it won't ruin tonight's sleep.

I talked with RL this morning and things are still frustratingly vague, but a bayesian estimation of the likelihood of my moving to London sometime in the next 3 months is in the neighborhood of 85%. And a chunk of the remaining 15% is the probability that I would turn down an offer.

Oh, ET hasn't emailed. At least someone in my life is reliable!

9:26 PM EDT

I heard from RL. He got the money. He's going to offer me a job. In London. I find out the details tomorrow.

I guess we had some confusion about which Monday.

Holy fuck and shit. Everything is coming together.


Wouldn't it be weird if I got an email from ET tomorrow?

Monday

Off to NYC today.

Still no word from RL. WTF.

More words from TF. I'm not sharing them but they are making me happy.

I'm actually managing to leave with a very clean house, which makes me feel like an adult. Even the refridgerator is clean.

I do feel adrift not working.

An answer from TF

Congratulations on your imminent success - well deserved doubtless. A not unpleasant surprise to hear from you... I'd be more than a little curious too. However, I must explain that my always-chaotic private life has undergone radical changes yet again.[...] I'd love to see you while you're here but I would have to be discreet about meeting you because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings in a complex situation. This, I realise, may make you reconsider wanting to see me. I would understand that. I hope, anyway, that you have a wonderful time on holiday celebrating your impending official cleverness and that you're well, TF

He is a private man, so it is not fair to broadcast his issues, but they do not include a romantic obligation to anyone else. You could summarize my response as "yes, yes, yes".

The thing I love about this man, more than anything, is that he has never conformed to stereotype of male stand-offishness and has always been honest and forthright with me (with the minor exception of his name, but that is a funny story I might tell some other day). I don't know what to expect from this meeting, but I am so grateful for it. Just to try to sort a little bit of the fantasy out of the reality, if nothing else.

10:20

I think I am going to be daring and LEAVE MY COMPUTER at the office overnight. There was a time, not too long ago, where that was standard procedure...

This means no waking up early to check email. I won't know what is waiting for me until after I talk with EK.

10:05 (that would be PM)

No word from TF. No word from RL. No word from ET.

But, I did send out my first draft to my committee. I sent out a newly "written" paper to the conference in Copenhagen. I didn't send out a paper to the conference in Toronto because I re-read their instructions (after having "written" a paper for them) and saw that the word length was 5000 words. Ha! I had managed to cut my draft down to 16,000. No fucking chance in hell.

I am about to send the draft to my outside reader...

Good night!