A little politics

Read the NYT article on Marcinkowski being abandoned by the DCCC in a long-shot bid to replace Rogers (R-MI08). As usual, I am drawn to no-hope underdogs, particularly those who reek of competence and level-headed-ness. So I am indulging my impulsive political donation compulsions this morning by giving $50 to his campaign. Sort of voting with my dollars for Dems to dream big right now. I hope there are lots of other people out there like me who will do the same.

If you feel inspired, you can donate too.

No work done...

...But I did reply to a DC craigslist ad for a bluegrass band, seeing if they might want to humor me as a back-up singer when/if I move to town...

Again, it is nice to feel like a multi-faceted human being.

Treats

I've actually been indulging in a bit of celebration (hopefully not premature). Last night I went to a movie and my dinner consisted of that magical combination of twizzlers and buttered popcorn (or, should I say, butter-flavored popcorn). I bought two hard-cover mystery novels to inhale. Today after getting some work done on my job paper (4 chapters are now 16 pages), I went home and took a nap. I came back to check email and see if there are more juicy details about the GOP self-destruction orgy. I might see if I can make a little bit more progress on the paper, but then I think I might go shopping...

I feel half-way human and it is really nice.

Yum these words taste good

JH just called me into his office and signed my dissertation. I don't know what caused his change of heart, and I don't care. He even said really nice things about my work.

I just sent a blunt email to ET. Maybe he'll sign too. Then I'll be Dr. Abby to all of you, thank you very much. Unemployed, but Dr. Abby nonetheless.

Still pissed off

Reminds me of the Uppity Blues Women's line "Better to be pissed off than to be pissed on."

I tattled to the dean about JH's delinquency. Don't know if that is the right thing to do, but MS and my parents were all encouraging me to register the complaint, so I did.

Saw GB in the hall and we chatted about where we were in the finish up and move on process and again faced with the humiliation of being far from done and unemployed. God damn RL for his head in the clouds.

All I feel these days is angry. Betrayed.

I wrote S and TL today to tell them I wouldn't be eating Indian food in London with them any time soon.

I'm trying to write my friggin' job market paper. It is kind of fun to cut my dissertation into pieces. At least I can get my aggression out somewhere, albeit on my own work.

I know I should call ET again today, but I just don't have the heart for it.

The world is full of assholes and they are turning me into a bitter resentful bitch. God damn it.

Today's bad news

God this part of life is so hard. I hate being 31 and having no control over my life.

So I talked with the dean about jobs and he basically told me to write-off this year and focus on fall of 2007. As if I have the funds or the emotional strength to be unemployed or marginally employed for that long. Not to mention the whole biological clock that is screaming in my ear with no viable partner prospects in sight.

Then I talked to JH, my committee chair, and he told me that he would sign after he had read my dissertation and he would try to read it by the end of October. A MONTH FROM NOW. He also had the temerity to ask if I had responded to his comments. Am I the non-responsive member of this pair?

I feel like I have worked incredibly hard and played by all the rules, but I am still stuck, isolated, unemployed, unsupported.

Count down continues

Well, I've sold my car. While normally I hate the darn thing (actually, I them all), I am feeling sad right now. Good, sweet car.

Yesterday I got the first real signature on my dissertation. Bless SB! I also got a firm promise from MS to sign, but the act hasn't happened yet. Maybe tonight.

So now I have to do battle with JH and ET. I am supposed to talk with ET today, and I am trying to work up the courage to go talk with JH. He is so frustratingly vague! And I need to pin him down and try to wring some clarity from him. Before he goes off on vacation.

4:57

Just sent off another draft to the committee. And a signature sheet to ET. Allowed myself a moment to fantasize about the day he actually does sign...

Monday 12:03

I am trying to finish up my revisions for JH. I am working on a memo to accompany my changes that document the (minor) changes, plus the changes that I made a long time ago that he didn't read, plus the stuff that has always been there that say what he says is missing from my dissertation but hasn't been missing.

It feels like a royal waste of valuable time. And it is hard not to get tripped up by anger.